I am at training camp sitting in bed thinking that perhaps I should inform the general male reader what to pack, clothes wise, when going on a trip like this. Helpful I know. Thanks for realizing that. I am here for you, and well, you’re prolly here for you too unless you’re here for me in which I thank you. Count the pronouns. It’s like 12.

So it rained today whilst I was shoveling mulch for this one section of camp. To not lie, I was actually raking/pitchforking. Anyways I wanted to remind people to bring a rain jacket whilst traveling. It’s a good idea because it protects you from the rain and wetness. What else should I pack oh wise dragonfly? Most people would probably tell you to pack dry fit clothes, polyester shorts, and Asic walking shoes. They are idiots. Traveling is 110% mental and the rest is physical.

Listen to me, for I am wise. What you want to do when deciding on which clothes to pack is bring stuff with a lot of pockets. Ideally you will want four pockets on your shirts and six on the pants. That’s ten pockets. What do you use them for? Nothing. It’s all for show. I wear this stuff for the same reason why I wear top of the line Spyder gear when on the ski slopes. I don’t actually ski, but I look like a pro walking around the town. Like I said, it’s 110% mental. Basically I take a photo of a photographer from national Geographic and copy his look. Army style jacket, wool socks, transition lenses in my glasses. I will not conform to the world and purchase contact lenses and just wear sunglasses. No! I will have technology advance glasses to the point that makes other better technological advances just for the cool kids. This might not make any sense. I just took a half a melatonin and am trying to get to sleep. I will fight through it.

Next step. Backpack. Some will tell you to get a comfortable one that fits around the waist and is the appropriate size for the trip you’re taking. Rubbish. If it does not come in pea soup green, don’t purchase it. Pea soup group is the color of professionals. It’s so bright and eye catching that all the Romanian thieves will be competing to snag what’s in that bag and that’s a drag but you get to brag… about it…lame.

Umm Lt. Dan would say bring lots of socks. I am bringing two pairs of socks. This is because I own Chacos. Woah Woah calm down! I know they are hideous I am aware. I bought a pair, again, just to look like I know what I’m doing. At first I hated them. They were uncomfortable and ugly and awkward. But after wearing them three days it’s all I wear. They are amazing. Comfortable, easy and don’t flip like my flops. Most of all you can get a chaco tan! Baller. I’m gonna go get some food.

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